...take it or leave it, but after five years, I'm moving this LJ to a new home!

http://lifeonalullaby.blogspot.com

visit me there!

Hello to the three people who still read this! Haha. Well, it's mostly my fault, I don't update much. I might be switching to a wordpress or blogspot blog soon. As soon as my life becomes interesting enough to write about. Haha.

As per the American Library Association (who do important things like support librarians and pick the Newberry winners) this week is banned books week! Hooray! Tomorrow we are taking a short break from regular lessons in the 8th grade to talk about book banning, book burning and the importance of intellectual freedom. I am quite excited. The kids, however, will be far less enthused. But oh well.

What's interesting is that a lot of books that I love (the Harry Potter series, The Lovely Bones, Of Mice and Men) are all books that are on the list of 'most challenged' in the past seven years. Books that I teach (Speak, Roll of Thunder Hear My Cry, To Kill A Mockingbird, The Giver, Bridge to Terabithia) are also on this list.

While I look at this week as a week of celebration (and the kids should feel like badasses for reading banned books), the importance of this week is that banning books is a slippery slope to censorship.

Teaching at a private school makes the subject of book banning a little tricky. Certain books that have overt sexual content (like some of those skanky vampire books) aren't in our school's library because their content is not appropriate enough for the general audience of a grade school library, though the students are encouraged to read them on their own if they chose to do so. The librarian makes the decisions on whether or not to carry the book, but she does not say what students can and cannot read. And for a Catholic grade school, that seems very fair.

Freedom of choice people! Celebrate it! Love it!

So I had a plan.

My plan was to suffer through my night shift job that I hated (and didn't get enough hours at) for a while, until November where I would gallop across the country and go to NYC because I still have never been there and I find that to be shameful. Then I was going to go to grad school in the spring, either at home, in D.C., or Chicago and life was going to be good again.

Then a job opened up to teach junior high reading and writing. I almost fell over myself to apply for it, and I got it. I was thrilled and I'm so happy I get to actually do what I always wanted to do. But, a little part of me is slightly disappointed. I mean...I liked those plans. I do not necessarily want to stay in Cincinnati. I already talked to my professors about recommendations for universities, which they already wrote, and I feel bad asking them to write/send another to UC after I told them I had changed my mind.

I have an entire school year to think about what my next step is. Ideally, I would like to go to GW...or move back to Colorado. I don't know how teacher licenses transfer state to state. I suppose I could get mine here...but where? The University of Cincinnati is uptight and expects me to go full time and have them chose where I student teach. Xavier is expensive. My aunt and uncle get on my case a lot about filling out FASFA and making decisions and then trying to find a place to live. I feel like it's inappropriate to stay here much longer. I'm waiting on Kelley to decide before I start looking at places.

I would like to unscatter my life. I'm so pumped to teach, but I'm not happy with still being in Cincinnati.

tonight is my last night in my house. so much has happened within these walls, and i have grown in ways that have been beyond me.

it's also jay leno's last night on the tonight show. next week conan starts, and next week i start my new life.

i can't wait for conan...and all that comes with it :)

When I was graduating from high school, I was ready for the next adventure, which is why I decided to move to Cincinnati to come to Xavier. As I have said many times before, it was the best decision I had ever made.

Now I'm starting to stare at my future and it's freaking me out. I am not ready to move again. As much as I dislike Cincinnati sometimes, I feel like I have to stay here. I do not want to move again. I am not ready.

First, I need to figure out what the hell I'm doing. That's a very tall order, but its just something that has to happen. And right now, staying in Cincinnati will help me figure things out, and then I can go from there.

I know I want to go to grad school to become a teacher, I know that I need a job to help pay for grad school. But I'm not sure how to get from one to the other. Unfortunately, I am entering the job market at a completely horrible time. It would make sense to go to grad school NOW but it's just not possible. My parents won't pay for it and I myself can't afford it.

This is all so depressing to write about. I wish I didn't have to figure things out quite yet. But I do, unfortunately. Sigh.

so I'm really loving this semester already. I'm excited about my classes, mostly excited about newspaper, love my social life and am in a generally happy place.

I'm taking two literature courses that are going to be VERY beneficial when I start teaching. American Realism is with Dr. Getz, whom I love, and we're reading some obscure stuff, but stuff that is also enjoyable...and Huck Finn. Here's a nerd confession...I keep a list of novels and stories that I would teach in my classes and Huck Finn is definitely being taught if I ever teach American Lit (which is to juniors, usually). So I'm excited for that.

Modern Irish Literature is going to be challenging, but I'm excited. We're reading James Joyce, a couple of plays (I love plays) and a more contemporary book too. We're reading one of the hardest books in the English language, Ulysess, but I'm going to be pretty proud of myself if i get through it.

My art history class is ok, kinda boring, but I'll be more cultured. And it's an easy A. My PR ethics class is fine, new professor which is always hard and right now we're having trouble coordinating our volunteer final project, but it will all work out. hopefully...

i'm really excited about my education class too. it's about teaching writing, which will also be really important. plus we talk about issues and theory in education, which makes me really excited.

knowing that i want to be a teacher and will hopefully be doing that in a couple of years makes me think a lot about the election. which candidates will be better for teachers and education in general? that will probably be the people who get my vote...among a couple of other things.

the newswire is going ok so far. we're finally getting underway on some pretty big stories and that makes me happy. we're having some problems with john's leadership style, and i hope that we work out the kinks soon. i'm tired of growing pains and want to get down to serious business. i'm ready. john better get his ass in gear.

alright, this is all for now. i'm off to take a nap and enjoy my three day weekend!

so tomorrow is my last day of nannying until August 4th, and then three weeks of that. summer is going to be over in 6 weeks...where the hell did it all go?

i'm barely going to get by this summer. between paying my parents back, maintaining a social life and trying to save up for a camera (i simply have to document my senior year or i'll beat myself up over it for the rest of my life) i'm going to start my year with barely any money in the bank and begin living paycheck to paycheck again. this is not how i want it to be. gosh i'm so broke. money sucks. a lot. plus, i'm pretty positive that i would have more money if gas wasn't so gosh darn expensive.

i got in my first car accident on thursday while driving to chicago. i was side swiped by this couple (who had seven people in a five passenger car! that's nuts! and dangerous!)and my mirror was completely destroyed and my passenger side door completely dented. getting this repaired is going to be a pain.

i meant to type more, but i just became super tired. i didn't sleep much last night, so i guess its all about to catch up to me. more later.

holy cow i'm old.

ok, that's a bit of an exaggeration. but seriously, time is starting to fly and i am actually aging. on the cusp of adulthood.

i'm lucky enough to be a senior, and i'll most likely be going back to school for my masters (actually, i'll be getting it in education...so i'll technically be in school for the rest of my life and that is so exciting!) but yesterday as i was driving i started getting nostolgic for college. I never got nostolgic about high school because it was...well, high school. i don't miss much about holy family. but i'm starting to miss a lot of things about xavier and i'm still here for another year!

but one year from now i'll have graduated. where did the past four years go? my college years, supposedly the best years of my life, are fading. fast.

i'm starting to get to the age where friends of mine are getting married, having babies, starting big chapters in their lives. it started slowly, with people you know from high school, and then friends and now that Kammie is engaged its moved to really good friends. someone i've known since we were 15. that's six years! and andrew may will probably marry therese (my mom and i think so, anyway...so take that for what is worth) and i've known him since i was 11! 11! that was TEN YEARS AGO.

i look at Pat, who isn't thrilled about his job, and see someone who misses college a lot. Everytime I see Ann Tassone she tells me to enjoy it while it lasts because the real world sucks. matt isn't accomplishing much with his life. i'm scared for the real world. it's not getting good reviews so far.

I haven't slept since Tuesday night. I'm shaking from too much caffiene and not enough food. I have a presentation in 20 mins on a book I didn't finish but I don't effin care.

XAVIER IS GOING TO THE ELITE EIGHT!

I know many of you do not care much for sports, but at X we live and breathe basketball. Last night was one of my most memorable nights at Xavier. It was thrilling. An overtime game that we won because of two clutch three pointers. After we got back from Mulligan's, Abby and I went to the greenspace and it was a huge party with tons of students there all cheering, dancing, hugging and celebrating. It was remarkable, truly.

Go Xavier!

i'm staring my first busy week of the semester in the face and I'm not ready for it. I have an article due tomorrow for the internship that i hate and i'm not looking forward to writing it at all. i should really just buckle down and do it but its more fun to procrastinate. i'm leaving the pubs house at midnight no matter what.

my computer is still not working. i can't seem to get the hard drive out and it needs to be our before i send it in. so its probably going to be another week until i get that back, if i somehow send it out tomorrow. somehow being the operative word.

i'm looking forward to what will hopefully be a really fun girl's night tomorrow night. it better be.

i can't believe that february has already come and gone. as with most things in my life, i feel like a lot has happened and the same time without much happening at all. i'm so excited for spring break, which is in two weeks.

i'm sort of distracted right now by lots of things. its 11, so i should get off facebook and lj and do my article so i can go home and sleep.

every now and then i get a CD that i feel fits perfectly into my life at certain times. its only happened once before with Natasha Bedingfield's "Unwritten" album. i still love that thing to death and it makes me incredibly happy listening back to it (and her new CD comes out on my 21st birthday!).

i've found a new one though...Alicia Key's new CD "As I Am" is the most beautiful mixture of music and (most importantly) words that i've ever heard. each song tugs at my heart and makes me want to listen to it over and over again. i feel also like this CD has come into my life at an opportune time. this makes it even better. i love it when this happens!!!

has this ever happened to anyone else, or am i just a big bag of crazy?

hope everyone's holiday was good!

it happens once every two years and usually its pretty crazy, but this year it was out of control. i guess that's what happens when your basketall teams is ranked #21 in the nation.

the morning the crosstown campout began it was an absolute clusterfuck in every sense of the word. we got tent #49 and we've been there since Monday at 8. Of course, since God knows that 700 or more students are in tents this weekend, he decided to give us absolutely horrible rainy, cold, weather.

last night i got lucky and got to use the sub-zero sleeping bag. that thing was amazing. tonight it is supposed to be about 10ish degrees warmer, but no sub zero sleeping bag. i plan on wearing every fleece thing i own. and i need to figure out something to do with the blankets that will probably be wet by the time i get out there.

not to mention i need to finish my 16 page paper by Wednesday (and I have about 8 pages) start a 5 page poetry paper due Tuesday and a 6 page english paper due Friday. its so chaotic. i should not have signed up to be in the tent tonight. oh well.

once tuesday hits its going to be very chaotic. tuesday is john's last day at the newswire and i still have to get his present ready for him. and then wednesday is the game, which i'm so looking forward to. i really hope we slaughter the Cincinnati Bearcats.

go X!

p.s. any tips for keeping warm?

I decided to skip out on the holiday celebrations this weekend so I could go to Washington D.C. for a college media conference. This meant I had to skip out on beer pong league, the thursday night meeting, three classes and other general frivolities so I could try and learn something and improve upon my journalistic skills. but now i'm paying for it.

john and matt are both not speaking to me, for some reason or another. john isn't responding to my texts and matt is being pissy. c'mon boys, lets not act like teenage girls now.

i'm also really behind in pretty much every class. so after dinner i'm going to the library and I'm not coming back until I'm caught up in at least two classes, if not three. how did i get so far behind so suddenly? GRR.

i also need to start going to class. the past three weeks i've been skipping here and there. why am i so unmotivated? its also time to sign up for new classes and my midterm grades suck and now i'll have to hear about how i'm doing poorly from two of my advisors.

why am I so stressed all the time? *sigh*

Well I'm finally getting to relax some after a crazy past few days. I don' think i did well on my bio test AT ALL and that scares me. This means I'll have to get an A on the next test and do all my assignments and get an A on the final to get a B in the class. crap.

but the poetry paper went as well as it could have gone. i honestly don't care though, because the Rockies are going to the WORLD SERIES and its so exciting. I remember when I was going through my tomboy stage and i loved the rockies and baseball. my dream was for them to go to the pennant. and they finally did...20 years or so later.

I think since I'm not going home for thanksgiving Ren and I might go somewhere that weekend. i'm thinking maybe chicago or new york (we could go to the parade!) although we don't really have anyone to stay with in new york and hotels are expensive. but we will see. it might be nice to go somewhere warm, but hilton head is only in the 50s or so during november. boo.

plus i'm tired of driving. with going to DC for the conference next weekend and just coming off a fall break which 2 of my 5 days off were spent driving, i may not want to drive anymore.

making plans like this makes me wish i had money.

also, my roommates are cleaning challenged. they really are. if the dishwasher is full and you fill it, you should put the detergent in and start it. it takes about two minutes. so i ran the dishwasher before work yesterday. when i got home, everyone's dishes were all over the kitchen because no one bothered to unload the dishwasher. so me, slightly angry and passive aggressive, unloaded the dishwasher, put my dirty dishes in there and left the rest out. i just got back from class and they are still out.

seriously girls, you're 20 years old and you should be able to handle loading and unloading a freaking dishwasher. i also cleaned the shower yesterday which was NOT fun. kristina has been doing some major slacking on cleaning our bathroom. she claims that she doesn't have time but i called her twice last week and both times she was sitting around watching friends while i was working on a paper or reading a book or studying for a test. to me, that means that you have time. clean the toilet. it takes like 20 minutes.

how are we supposed to live in a house if we can't even keep this stupid apartment clean?

i mean, my room is messy, but thats fine. it just affects me because i'm the one who lives in it. but the kitchen? i eat there, as do three other people, our friends, my roommate's boyfriend, etc.

oh, its family weekend this weekend and i'm not looking forward to it. i always feel like a lame ass because well, my family isn't here. and i hate the way some people look at me like my parents don't love me. i'm pretty sure that they do, it just costs a ton of money for them to come here and they would just rather come at a time where they can stay longer than 3 days.

i'm cranky, time for a nap.

So tomorrow I have a 5 pg poetry paper due and a bio test. i still haven't done my homework for my class at 3 and I'm still exhausted even though I slept about 8 hours last night, which for me, on a school night, is really good!

oh goodness, I have so much to do and this weekend is going to be busy busy busy. i'm excited for Muskie Madness and for Aida. Which reminds me, I have to talk to the Springfield lady about pictures...clearly my mind is all over the place.

i absolutely loved my little vaca to see mike and molly. i had such a fun time and I enjoyed seeing their new minnesotan lives. molly's roommate, Danielle and her boyfriend Donnie were visiting and although I like both of them a lot and they were very nice they had WAY too much PDA. i mean, show affection is fine but when you're in public some things should just really be saved for later.

on that note, i'm gonna take a power nap and move on with my day.

and...GO ROCKIES!!!!

There are lots of things in life that I really appreciate and they're just little, small or maybe materialistic things. But life is about the little things sometimes. Here are some of my favorite "little things" that make my day:

1-getting my hair cut
2-finding a song that completely fits my mood or what I'm feeling
3-someone yelling 'EMILY!' across the Greenspace
4-hugs from Craig
5-random text messages
6-new underwear
7-making my bed and then sitting on it
8-diet coke with a straw
9-watching someone do something kind for someone else
10-when the basketball players say hello to me
11-when boys hold the door for girls
12-giggling uncontrollably
13-when the free song of the week on iTunes is good
14-picutres
15-wall posts from old friends
16-getting or sending mail

:) It's fall break and I'm off to Minnesota to see Mike and Molly. Ciao!

I'm a fairly busy individual. I'm taking 18 credit hours, I'm an editor at my school newspaper, I volunteer. I also spend my time doing homework, attempting to keep this apartment relatively clean, sleeping, eating, seeing friends and checking my email.

So I do NOT need more distractions in my life. Facebook, YouTube and checking people's away messages are big enough. But now, I've discovered perezhilton.com. uh oh.

normally i believe in being nice to people. but this guy is just over the top hilarious and it cracks me up and I literally cannot stay away. I check it everyday. Yes, I have a problem. And its celebrities, a few I like and the rest I don't, so whatever.

In other news, test 1 of 3 this week is over, I got a cool shirt from the Gap this weekend, I officially such at 12 cup beer pong and we're house hunting for next year

ok, i have some things to do before class today. ciao!

i've been thinking a lot lately about what i would like to do after i graduate from X. i'm not going to go to grad school yet, because i would like to take a break from school. if i ever go back it would be to get a master's in administrative policies or education. and that won't be until later in life. i need to pay off my XU loans and i have a four month grace period which i can live with my parents, but then i have to move out. sounds harsh, but that was the deal i struck with my dad when i was 18.

so i have three options. #1: Do Teach for America for two years. I'll get paid, trained and I'll be certified to teach afterwards. Also, I could move somewhere really cool and teaching is what i ultimately want to do. but only on a high school level. i'd be a strict teacher too. after that i could move back to Denver I guess (TFA also has a hub in Denver).
#2: get a job right after graduation to start paying back my loans. Once that is paid off and once I am married, i can start teaching.
#3: None of the above.

So 1 is the best, 2 is OK and 3 could either be awesome or terrifying. hmm. Plus, teach for America only takes like 17% of their applicants. bummer. i'd have to be top of my game in order to be accepted. which means i need to boost my GPA big time.

stupid career fair yesterday made me worry a lot about this. i don't want to work for a corporation though, i just don't. on the other hand, there is the grad school right after college question. what if i find a job with a company that i like and they want to pay for grad school? i should do that! hello!

of course i haven't figured things in that could potentially shift the plans. Good things like marriage and pregnancy (only good if i'm not broke and preferably married) or bad things like sickness, unplanned pregnancy, family crisis, financial crisis.

or i could just write a bestseller, buy a nice house and be done with it.

i am having trouble posting in this journal, which is frustrating. but this past week has been so busy and i'm looking forward to not having much to do until fall break. what a relief. the first two weeks have been busy and already i feel like so much has happened. meghan leaves for india tomorrow, ren is sick again and being kinda strange, monica comes and goes with being happy or sad about the matt thing and kristina is just sad about her grandma. and me? well my life is busy but i can't complain.

i feel as if lately i just want to graduate from school and write novels. too bad this rarely ever happens. i have a lot of ideas spewing out of me and i'm trying to see if i can even get published on the internet. that would be cool.

the newswire is going well. i feel as if i might even look into being editor in cheif next year. we'll see.

that's all for now. busy day tomorrow and tuesday, so i'm really really really looking forward to my nap on wednesday.

My third year at Xavier (that sounds scary) has begun! I made it through my first week of classes and I have all A's. This semester is going to be much more promising than last semester, I can already tell. Of my six classes, I've only had five so far. I really like three of them. My human reproduction class is fascinating to me (but the lab is a big waste of my time), i really like my Lit and the Moral professor, Dr. Getz. He's so cool and I'm sure that once we start reading some good books the class will be even better. I also like Professor Malik who is my International Relations professor. He's from Palestine, so his worldview will be cool to listen to. And he's English is phenomenal. He speaks it better than I do.

I still can't decide if i like my poetry class or not. It's hard to like a class that is at 8:30 in the morning. Dr. Finklstein is also kinda wierd. My Research and survey class is a snoozefest and Dr. DeSilva is a wierdo. i won't like that class, I can already tell. I have yet to have a Writing for the Media class but i'm sure it will be good.

The Newswire started with a bang this year. We published a rather "controversial" Manresa issu which lead to Res Life removing all of our papers which caused us to scream and shout because a) that violates our freedom of speech and b) its actually against the rules at Xavier to remove the Newswire. I love the controversy.

Speaking of controversy, College Republicans are bringing Ann Coulter to campus on Thursday. I love controversy and even though I don't agree with her views on well...anything, i'm still going to hear her speak and maybe if I feel brave I'll ask her a question. oh boy!

I've got two papers to write by Tuesday, so this weekend is certainly going to be busy. So far I like being back at Xavier, and I'm even starting to enjoy living in the apartment even though it can be somewhat isolating. I'm going to try and add some decortion to my room today. i've misplaced my posters and it concerns me.